Everything I Wish I Could Say But Can't...

Once you were my friend. We had a lot of fun together, and in our group! I admit that I wasn't the greatest at writing, but I tried the best I could. I was SO excited for you to come home. I knew you would have grown, but I thought we could still hang out and laugh and be friends. Maybe that was a silly thought; maybe I was naive. I wish I could still talk to you and not have to watch what I say. I wish I still felt comfortable enough to text you whenever, or to invite you places. I tried for a while, but after being turned down so many times, what point is there?!
It stings that you won't give us the time of day anymore. It sucks that you won't respond when I try to talk to you. It's even worse thinking that I did something to offend you. I understand that missions are hard, and that people grow up a lot in two years; believe me, I've done my fair share of growing up, and I continue to. It shouldn't take months and months to adjust, though. We gave you space, we gave you time, and we were patient. I give up. I'm sorry, but I give up. I've spent my energy on trying to be friends only to have it be in vain. When my friend comes back from Texas, let me know and I'll be here.

Things I Love

...but only some of them.

-Tyler Scott Mallory
-My family
-The temple
-The Book of Mormon
-School
-Performing injections
-Tyler's family
-My friends
-Friday night study dates with Courtney
-The bird
-Glee
-Music
-Humphrey, my car
-Reading books
-Dancing
-Sunshine
-Springtime
-Prayer
-Modern medicine
-My promise ring
-Trampolines
-Babies
-Jamba Juice
-My mom
-Playing Wii
-Malachi calling me his best friend in the whole world
-Rugrats
-Hey Arnold
-Doug
-New clothes
-The smell of a new car
-Gerber daisies
-Thunderstorms
-Blue eyes
-Ducks
-Missionaries
-Writing letters the old-fashioned way
-Text messaging
-Singing
-Driving with the windows rolled down
-Pouring rain
-Old movies like Singing in the Rain
-Broadway
-House
-Baseball
-My testimony
-The phrase, "Whoa there, Turbo"
-Ice cream
-Dreaming
-A warm bed
-Words of the day
-Being silly when acceptable
-Learning about WWII
-Priesthood blessings
-Reuniting with old friends
-Bubble tea
-Watermelon
-Clinic
-Fancy dresses
-Project Runway
-Getting letters every Friday from the best missionary in the world :)
-Baby giggles
-Going for walks
-Corvettes
-The color green
-Playing games
-Stupid pick-up lines
-The Office
-Being an aunt
-Talking to Hannah on the phone
-Working

:)

A little of this and that :)

Life has been awesome lately! I love school so much. I've got seven classes, so I feel like I'm in a little over my head, but that will change once I get back into the swing of things!

Recently I went to the temple; I love it there so much! There's such a spirit of peace, and I always get answers to prayers every time I go!

Last night for FHE, our area 70, Elder R. Bruce Merrill, came to speak to us. Holy stink. I've never had such a wonderful family home evening before. I felt the spirit more than I have ever felt it. I'm really excited about everything that's happened.

I went down to Lisa's cousin's wedding reception this past weekend. Holy stink. I'm telling you that there are only like, two receptions I will go to for the next year or so. It's really hard to go to receptions, because I know who I'm supposed to marry; yes, I know. It's personal how I know, but I'm throwing it out there that there are absolutely no questions anymore, and I truthfully don't want any junk or grief about that. This is truly the first time I'm saying it out loud or anything to people other than those closest to me. I'm sure his parents know, and I know for sure that my mom knows, but it's not like we talk about it constantly. I'm just happy to be able to know. :) Anyway, the reception was really hard to be at; they looked so perfect together, and I'm super happy for them! :)

Just Lately

So...the last few days have definitely been a whirlwind. Spring break is supposed to be relaxing, but this was more up and go.

Wednesday, I had a cardiology appointment up at Children's in Seattle. That was fine, except Dr. Olson told me that my aorta's enlarged a millimeter. Granted, that really isn't much; my aorta's enlarged to 3.5 centimeters instead of the average 2-3. He was saying that if my aorta ever grows to 5 centimeters in diameter, they're going to have to think about doing an aortic root replacement, and maybe a mitral valve replacement, too. I know that probably won't ever happen, but just those ideas are really scary! I asked him about being able to start a family in a few years, and he said that should be fine. I'm definitely going to have to consult someone first, but I will most likely be given the green light on that, as long as I'm considered a high risk. I'm hoping my aorta doesn't grow anymore period, though.

Thursday I had my appointment at Children's in Bellevue with Dr. Krengal. Dang. Big surprise: they couldn't find anything wrong or the source of pain. So what'd they do? Refer me to another doctor. He tried to see if I wanted to take a new prescription. Heck NO! I'm so tired of just being given prescriptions or some other treatment. I want a solution. I came out of that appointment more frustrated than ever. To make that day worse, I got the results of my gluten intolerance test back, and it was positive. No more gluten for me, ever. I know that's not really a big deal to most people, but on that day, it felt like the end of the world. I'm trying to adjust to it. The best part of that day was that I got a great letter from the best boyfriend in the world who I love so incredibly much. :)

Oh, and I dyed my hair. It's light brown now. :)

Love It!

Coolest belt-buckle ever! I want one. :) Never thought I'd find myself saying I wanted a belt-buckle, but this one is awesome.

All Things Shall Come to Pass

You know how sometimes things take forever to get where you wish they would be? Yep, that's definitely what happened.
Two years ago, an old boyfriend and I ended our relationship with the promise to remain friends. Obviously that didn't go as planned. For the longest time, he avoided me, and when we would be put into the same area, he'd flat out ignore me. Part of that was my fault, and I completely acknowledge that one. We broke up in like, January or something like that, and I started dating Tyler in May. During the summer, the three of us all worked together at KCDA. Awkward for me? No. For him? Yes. For Tyler Mallory? No. His point of view: I got the girl, and I'm happy. Anyway, from the time we broke up to the time he left on his mission, we exchanged maybe twenty words, and two-thirds of them came from me. About two weeks ago, we started talking again. He's serving his mission in Mexico right now, so we're communicating through email. It's still pretty new, but we're airing everything from the past that's been bottled up for the last two years. It's not like we're at each others' throats; not at all. We're both really sorry about how things went down, and grateful for this chance we have to start a friendship again. I'm not willing to date again, because I'm so happy with Tyler. I've never been happier where I am right now. :) He and I have agreed to sit down and talk about everything when he comes home. I'm definitely not willing to come out and say something like, "I'm so happy with my missionary!" I actually WANT to be friends with this guy. It's just...strange to be talking again, but in a good way. I'm excited to see if we can actually be good friends again, or if we'll just be cordial. I'm also hoping that he and Tyler can meet officially sometime, but that's a long way off.

The Auburn Friends

So I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I still don't know exactly how to phrase it, so bear with me. 'Kay, thanks. :)

Tyler and I have been dating for about two years now. When I first came around, things seemed a little bit tense. Tyler once told me that he thought it was because I wasn't Heather, and I was someone who wasn't in the "group". I don't know if that's true, and frankly, I don't care to know if that's true.

Basically I just want this to be out there...I really do like his group of friends. I felt so bad when he stopped hanging round with you all. I think part of that was for me, but I really know that he felt that he wasn't cared for all that much anymore, because he wasn't with someone from his regular group. On more than one occasion, I was even accused of "taking Tyler away from the group of friends that he's had for years". I really truly want the whole group of Auburn friends to know that I want to be friends with everyone. I have absolutely nothing against anyone, and truthfully, I think it's time that I try to reach out and be everyone's friend. I guess I've just been scared to, because I've thought this whole time that I wasn't liked -- again, that could be the case, and if it is, please don't tell me. Please just give me a chance, and I'm pretty sure that things would be okay. :)

Guys, I'm so sure that all came out wrong. Please don't take it that way. If it did rub you the wrong way, I apologize.